Coming out in a Faith-Based Community

“I told my mum, then I went to the coffee shop the next day and I was like - the world’s still spinning. I think there’s part of me that thought if I identified as queer and Muslim, I’d be struck by lightning - but there I was, having a coffee. I live to tell the tale!” - Amy

Faith and sexuality are two deeply important topics for many of us - and nobody should have to choose between them. Episode 6 of our podcast is dedicated to Coming Out in a Faith-Based Community.

Fiona is bisexual and was raised in Christianity, finding Paganism along the way; she’s an Ambassador with us at It Gets Better UK. Amy is gay and Muslim, and helps other LGBT+ Muslims to find community through her work with Hidayah UK. For both, identity has been a journey, and today, they are proudly queer and religious.

From experiencing religious communities where their sexuality was rejected or taboo:

“The Christians I was hanging out with made it very clear that being queer was not okay. We could love those people but we couldn’t condone it... I was convinced I was going to hell, and I stayed closeted for the next five years.” - Fiona

“I was stuck having this secret life - two identities, being queer and being Muslim. I thought it wasn’t possible to be Bengali, Muslim, and queer.” - Amy

Periods of life moving away from, and back towards, religion:

“When I came out, I felt further from any faith background than I ever had. I would tell people I had a faith, but I didn’t feel connected.” - Fiona

“I kind of stepped away from faith… Then I remember one Ramadan, I was really touched by the Quran, the simplicity of Islam, the pureness of love… and I just thought, why am I not seeking to be more integrated into this?”

Reconciling the two aspects of their identities - queerness and faith:

“Surely Allah loves me regardless of my sexuality when He knew that this was my path. Duh - God does love me, He created me on purpose.” - Amy

“It’s all about loving radically - loving the people on the margins.” - Fiona

And finding community and resources to help them when rejection still occurs:

“I met people through my now-wife who helped me come back to my religious roots. The Christians at university were not my people, but I found my people afterwards. There are affirming churches.” - Fiona

“I still feel not accepted. I’m still living this double life. Most of my blood family don’t support me. But I found family and community through Hidayah.” - Amy

Listen to the episode on Spotify, Apple, Amazon, and our website for…

⭐ Resources that helped them

⭐ Advice for others grappling with questions around religion and queer identities

⭐ How they navigate coming out - and that it’s okay not to come out to everyone!

For this episode, we partnered with Hidayah - the leading LGBT+ Muslim charity in the UK. Their website has resources on Islam and LGBT+, articles, courses, and more. They run in-person events in cities across the UK.

Fiona is a Regional Ambassador for It Gets Better UK - helping us share and grow our story collection of LGBT+ personal experiences in her local area. To become part of our volunteer Ambassador team, click here.

Every episode of this seven-part series is out now!

Find the podcast on Spotify, Apple, Amazon, and our website.