Jason Cancino: My "It Gets Better" Story
- miriam16107
- 5 hours ago
- 4 min read
My name is Jason, I'm 33 years old. I live with a learning disability. I’m from Belfast, I'm originally from the Philippines and I came to Belfast when I was 8 years old. I’m a chef and a freelance model. I’m also part of pageantry in Northern Ireland and I won my first ever title as Mr Shining Light 2024 wearing an evening gown in a national stage in Londonderry. I recently won the title Mr Diamond Ireland 2026 where I’ll be representing Ireland in the USA next year. I use my platform to raise awareness for mental health, especially in the LGBTQ+ community. This is my "it gets better" story - from being outed to finding acceptance.
Photo credit L-R: Diamond Ireland pageant photographer x2 - @damieneagersphoto - @lionel_mitchell_
Growing up different
During my childhood i always thought there was something different about me compared to other boys. I could never fit in as it didn’t feel right. I always wondered what was wrong with me.
When i was 16 years old i didn’t really know what my sexual orientation was, i was still discovering who i really was. I always loved being in school plays and dancing femininely. I never thought anything was wrong with it. It was just who i was.
One day when i was performing on stage one of the other students called out at me, “Jason, are you gay?” I felt so embarrassed and didn’t know what to say or how to act. It made me feel ashamed of how i performed and who i was as a person. No one stood up for me, so i just walked away and didn’t say anything.
Coming out - and being outed
A few years later i met this girl. I got along with her very well and thought she was a lovely friend whom i could trust, which wasn’t unusual for me as throughout school i was always closer to girls. So, thinking i could trust her, i was in a cafe shop with her and told her i was gay. She was very supportive and lovely towards me coming out to her and appreciated me for who i was.
Although she betrayed that trust, as she told my sister's friend that i was gay. My sister's friend confronted my sister to see if it was true.
My sister then told me about her friend confronting her about me being gay. This whole situation really hurt me, i was very disappointed that my friend would go behind my back and tell others with what i thought i could trust her with. With my sister now knowing i was gay, i felt very afraid as i didn’t know if she would accept me for who i was or if she would judge me and tell the rest of my family.
But my sister told me she didn’t care about my sexuality and that she loved me for who i was. It made me feel very supported which was unexpected but it made me feel relieved.
What happened when my family found out
3 years ago when I was 21 years old I met my first boyfriend. I worked with him in a restaurant in Belfast. Being in this relationship made me feel more comfortable within my sexuality and own skin. I also went to my first gay club in Belfast where I could dance as feminine as I wanted, I felt that I was in a safe space with no judgment.
I used to post a lot about my relationship on Facebook. I didn’t think anything of it as I didn’t know how public Facebook was. And with my Facebook being public, my parents' friend saw, and confronted my parents to ask if i was gay - without them even knowing that I was.
My dad wasn't very pleased as he was brought up in a different generation and a different background. My parents are Roman Catholic and from the Philippines, and homosexuality was looked down upon and not accepted. He grew up believing that as a man you should be with a woman. He never really mentioned about me having a boyfriend, but he would say things like “no Cancino is gay” - implying that i shouldn’t be. He would also keep asking if I had a girlfriend. I would always deny that I was gay to him as I was scared of not being accepted and felt embarrassed because I was ashamed of myself.
A little while later I met a new partner. I had to move in with him for 3 years so I could escape the bullying i received from my dad, as I couldn't face him repeatedly saying the same things and how he would react to me being open about my sexuality.
I was lucky enough to have my mum, as she wasn’t as strict as my dad. She was the one who helped my dad understand that i am still his son and that i wouldn’t change. As time passed, my dad slowly accepted me but we never really had a conversation about it. I guess it was just better that way so we could keep the peace.
These days, I'm focusing on my own journey, and excited to complete for the international title in Pageants.
But even with everything that i went through, it does get better after all those years, and my family accept me for who I am now.
Thank you to Jason for sharing his story! If you are reading this and are interested in contributing a story to our collection, you can share videos or written contributions to info@itgetsbetter.org.uk. You can find our story collection on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, or podcast, and here on our blog.
